Fathers Resources International

History of Fathers Resources International - Part Three
Location: BlogsDivorced Dad DailyHistory of Fathers Resources    
Posted by: Danny Guspie Sunday, September 23, 2007 11:10 PM
History of Fathers Resources International - Part Three By Danny Guspie Chapter One - Lost and Found - Part I: Danny survives his "Lost weekend...."

History of Fathers Resources International - Part Three

By Danny Guspie

Chapter One -  Lost and Found - Part I

 

From age 14 to 19 were my lost years….Like Sinbad, my grand adventure consists of those I've loved and lost, accomplishments, places I've been.  I often wonder what became of friendships, infatuations, hormonal lust and unrequited love?  We loved, laughed, fought, but lacked common desire to keep our relationships alive. Many wish we had. I do, having no life-long friends. When my parents split up, life became an unfathomable mess for me for about 3 years.

 

I moved to Flemingdon, grew my hair, played guitar, and attended spares at Overlea, skipping class in the smoking lounge out back... being naughty! Many presumed, I was 'forever stoned" behind Easy-Rider shades and long hair: Aloof, uninterested and uncommunicative. In reality, I was shattered by my parents' divorce, coping poorly, using dope for solace, living my definition of cool.

 

Reefer, a guitar and another song to write as I cut classes. In the evenings, get high - plenty of wonderful acid and/or mushroom trips at the Roxy and Cinecity watching Rock n' Roll films, dreaming the big dreams that make being a teenager such a great time.

 

Girlfriends - well like many guys I had no luck there - I was painfully shy, due to two very nasty girlfriends at 13 and again at 15...between them and my parents' divorce, I became obsessed at age 16 with one very special and beautiful girl at Overlea (who fascinated, infatuated and intrigued me - she was my first and deepest crush).

 

Other girls were too needy, wanted a quick roll in the hay, to have my love child, to shower them with cash. That's just not who I was - I wanted to be and have a true companion: Love, passion, adventure, joy, sorrow, desire, growth, honesty, loyalty, dependability, much like I have today with my wife Heidi - mature, passionate love and companionship...

 

On my last day at Overlea - the end to my teenage angst arrived: It was like "Elvis has left the building,..." I was busking for the kids with my guitar in the smoking lounge, disrupting many classes that day - large audiences, throwing coins in my guitar case, until the Vice-principal made kids go to class and asked me to go to class or go home - such a troublemaker was I.

 

But the girl seemed to be suitably impressed...I asked her out, she wanted to know if that meant go steady - I was shocked (she probably wondered what took me so damn long...), I said 'yeh" and we made plans to hook up later that day after school. I even had a song I had written just for her that morning.

 

I complied with the V-P's request, went home, ordered the straight-jacket and waited 1 hour for delivery - the way I saw it - things were looking up. I should of went to class, or gone home to play guitar...Instead, life changed in an instant. I took my last "trip" on "Angel Dust", better known as PCP. Big, big mistake....This was before anyone even really knew what it was. When I went home that day, I overdosed on some that I had found (with about 10 lbs. of pot earlier that month - that's an adventure in itself...)

 

Foolish stupidity: End of Overlea, goodbye girl - who could blame her? I stood her up, because I was checking into North York General instead, which sure was as unimpressive to her, as it was to me. Man that shit kicked my ass but good.

 

So, sadly I lost the opportunity to get to really know the girl, but I did get my life back, making the necessary changes in order for my adult life to emerge.

 

C'est la vie...it's funny in retrospect, like the film “Almost Famous”, I still recall my teenage angst about the girl and the innocence of youth. For those 36 months, everything seemed possible including actually being loved by my first teenage crush. Jocelyn was a beautiful dream whom I still fondly remember...Doesn’t everyone have the one that got away?  ... ;-)

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