Fathers Resources International

Fathers Resources International

From one old soldier to another - Part One...
Location: BlogsDivorced Dad Daily    
Posted by: Danny Guspie 9/23/2007
John Murtari a US activist has bee taking MASSIVE ACTION for a long time. He has a web site at AKidsRight.Org, which I encourage you to visit.

From one old soldier to another - Part One...  

For those of you who do not know him, John Murtari a US activist has bee taking MASSIVE ACTION for a long time. He has a web site at AKidsRight.Org, which I encourage you to visit. I have been getting his e-mails for many years now.

 

I've never seen him get dragged into the "flame war's you see on many discussion lists. He is constant, steady and persistent in his approach to dismantle the "EVIL FAMILY LAW SYSTEM".

 

One of the actions he has taken upon himself is to simply try to meet with United States Senator Hilary Clinton. He's been rebuffed and arrested many times for simply exercising his right to communicate with a legislator whose job is to listen to the public. His blog on his efforts are here.

 

John wrote recently in one of the many e-mail discussion groups an excellent piece of introspection. He is asking for comments which you can send him at: jmurtari@AKidsRight.org

 

MY COMMENTS ARE FOUND IN PART TWO. 

 

John writes: 

Good People & People of Faith,

The season of Lent is meant to be a time of introspection & penance aspreparation for the celebration of Easter. I know many of us are notreligious, but perhaps some personal reflection might help our reformefforts. I have included some anonymous FEEDBACK from you regardingthese personal issues.I certainly think the F-4-J folks have shown courage by their actions(and some may soon be facing jail time. Imagine that!).

I also tellyou someone else I have respect for, a mother named Diane Booth whotook her son and ran off to Canada. Why?Against her wishes her child was being medicated with Ritalin forsupposed ADHD. Diane thought it was causing serious health problemsthat would destroy his future. She tried to work through the system,but nobody listened (we can all relate to that).

Time was of theessence and she saw the boy she knew slipping away. She ran with himto Canada for a while, but they were eventually captured and returnedto the US. She was jailed for a while. Imagine that!http://www.msnusers.com/FreeVincentBoothDiane's email address:

ChildRescue2006@aol.com

[ Now please, have I confirmed that all this is really true, and that Diane is certified good-hearted, and not secretly a vampire? No. But please just evaluate her actions based on what I said.]What would you have done? Who's at fault if your child suffersserious injury while in the care of the 'system'?

Taking Personal Moral Responsibility

------------------------------------

I get a LOT of email and hear some pretty horrendous stories. If youhaven't been there, please visit our Hall of Shame page,http://www.AKidsRight.Org/shame.htm Sometimes I wonder about the people behind the messages I get. Theydescribe horrific physical or sexual abuse happening to their child.They describe what an absolute monster either the other parent orsocial worker is... and you want to know something?

The worse theymake it sound, the more I wonder.... Do they really believe that or are they just turning up the volumebecause they think that will work? But even more so I ask why aren'tthey taking action to try to save their child? Your child is beingsexually abused and you are sending me an email message? You areblaming the system ... the other parent ... the judge ... the socialworker, but what are YOU doing?

Many of you think a 'Court Order' absolves you of your personal moralresponsibility for the welfare of your children? The Judge put my kidin an abusive home, what can I do? Why do I like Diane. Her actions were consistent with what she wassaying and she had the courage to take action. Done with a "wellformed conscience" (search that on Google) it is also a GOOD act.

Introspection - a reality check for all of us.

---------------------------------------------

Some of the stories involve an 'other' parent who is into drinkingand/or drugs. I really wonder about those? Did this other parentjust start doing drugs, or were they doing it before when you hada 'relationship' and it didn't bother you?I wonder about the children that were the accidental products ofone-night stands. Neither future parent was thinking of a child atthe moment -- they just wanted to get their groin tickled!These are perhaps easy for many of us to criticize, but what of themore subtle failures?

The confidence and Faith we lacked ourselves,that led to poor situations for our ourselves and consequently for ourchildren. The times we were so caught up in 'something else', thatwe failed to respond to those close to us?And certainly, for all of us who have new found 'righteousness' aboutthe dismal state of Family Law ...

How many of us were concernedenough to pay attention or contact legislators when these laws werebeing passed years ago? We did nothing, it hadn't happenedto us yet? But now we have no patience with legislators?Sometimes I'd like to hear someone say, "and I wasn't perfect either,I made a few mistakes which may have contributed to this..."

I feelmore sympathetic for those folks, more inclined to believe...I am able to feel much more compassion for others, when I reflect onall the things I could have done differently. When I embrace the factthat part of the reason my son Domenic has been through so much pain,is based on my past failings....

The Past is Past

----------------

To continually regret past errors is destructive and foolish -- but sois pretending they don't exist. We become more able to work &sacrifice for reform when we acknowledge our past failings and usethem as motivation to work for the future. It also helps improve ourcredibility and we don't shreeeek as much at the other parent and thefolks in the system.

Your FEEDBACK...

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**IMPORTANT NOTICE ABOUT SUPPORT GROUP MEETINGS**
We do not offer legal advice at our support group meetings. Legal advice can only be obtained from a lawyer. We do not have a lawyer in attendance at our support group meetings. Our free support group meetings are chaired by a senior certified law clerk who is also a divorced father and an adult child of divorce. Our Support Group meetings are a place to share and exchange personal experience and knowledge about the process of separation and divorce. Discussions at our meetings are of a supportive nature so that fathers can gain a clearer understanding of separation/divorce from the perspective of fathers who have had success in Family Court. Meeting dates are subject to change.

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