Fathers Resources International

Fathers Resources International

Another Adult Child of Divorce Speaks Out - Adults Suck
Location: BlogsDivorced Dad Daily    
Posted by: Danny Guspie 9/23/2007

Great piece here: "As a child of divorce between two parents with few differences other than conflicting outlooks - the kid left in me wants to scream stop it any way you can even if it means you have to drop to your knees and plead."

Most adults just don't get it - Unless you've gone through it as a child, you cannot possibly know anything about what us "children of divorce" go through. My comment - "Adults Suck" especially when they forget their childhood, humanity, responsibilities and selfishly place their needs above their obligations to their children.

You would think Judges, the most educated members of society would get that. But they don't. and we've seen plenty of cases just like this:

A father who has had his kids for many, many years finally gets an order of child support. He's forced to keep going to Family Court, spend money, and not get any support for the kids, for excuses that would never be tolerated if the roles were reversed. What woman waits years for such an order? Oh and he doesn't get an order of enforcement of child support by the Family Responsibility Office. The Judge turned down what is a routine order in every child support matter in Ontario - enforcement.

This particular mother and the way the Court has let her off the hook for years epitomizes everything bigoted about Family Court. He told the Judge that his kids were begging him to stop all action in Family Court (mom was putting a lot of pressure on them, as you can all imagine.)

Why is it that mothers rarely pay child support when they lose custody?

Because - Adults Suck.

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Re: Another Adult Child of Divorce Speaks Out - Adults Suck    By Bill on 3/3/2006
My parents split when I was 10. Today at 33, I still can't get them in the same room without lots of BS and fighting. So I ask who are the kids here? There are some days when I feel like telling them both to grow up. They are really a bad example to my 4 year old daughter who innocently asks me why don't grammy and grampy have fun and laugh and want to play with me like you and mommy? At least my kid has a couple of grown ups for parents.

Re: Another Adult Child of Divorce Speaks Out - Adults Suck    By danny on 3/4/2006
Mine are exactly the same way - I can't even get either of them apart or together into the same room with me, myself and I, because they are so bitter. It can be really sad when the child has to be the parent. My mother refused to come to my 1st wedding because my father was there...

It is a terrible crippling emotional burden that takes most of one's life to get past as a child of divorce. I can tell you that I will not sentence our kids to the same thing. It has taken years for my ex and I to be civil to each other, but I know our daughter and son appreciate it.

I figure it will come full circle when our daughter marries - I'll walk her down the ailse and at the reception have a dance with her Mom. That's because it is her day - not mine.

If only I could get my parents to understand what that means and just get over themselves. I forgive them and love them, but I sure wish I could like them too. Because deep down inside they are great people who taught me so much about life.

Its a part of me they will never ever share - and is for that reason I do this work: Fathers Rights = Children Winning Peace.

Thanks for the comment and visiting - come back often for updates, tactics, strategies, free resources, meeting information and help.

Danny Guspie - Executive Director
Fathers Resources International


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